Welcome to The Manga Connoisseur Two-Year Anniversary Special! Ladies and gents, do I have a surprise for you. We’ll be looking at Qwaser Of Stigmata today. Why is it special? Because it is, without a doubt, the worst manga I’ve read in my life.
Hold your applause until the end of the show, folks. Yeah, I had a reason for going light yesterday, and it’s because I knew how bad this would be. I even had to write myself a bulleted list just to remember what I hated about it. It has 16 items. SIXTEEN! So let’s look at “Qwaser Of Stigmata”. Viewer Discretion Is Advised.
First, the back cover. It has so many labels, with a whopping four. “May include:
-Sexual Partial Nudity
-Explicit Sexual Violence
Anyone else see what’s wrong here? Oh yeah, IT’S ALL ABOUT SEX. Nevermind that, but why have “Sexual Partial Nudity” at all? Isn’t it obvious from the other three what’s gonna happen? For that matter, “Fanservice”? Really? That deserves an 18+ rating? Also, to me, it ain’t no fanservice. This manga should’ve been 70+. Wait, no, that’d give them heart attacks. Okay, 0-. Wait, no, then babies could read it. Nothing, okay? It shouldn’t have been a manga.
Plot: Just Kidding Take two cups Christianity, three cups sacrilege, and D-cups of breast milk.
I’m done. No, breast milk, it’s the end of me. Breast milk. That’s a thing our society allows now. They must, if it got translated. I’M DONE.
Continuing, Mafuyu and Tomo are losers, don’t have no friends but them, meet strange boy who sucks women’s breast to restore energy, I’m done again. It’ll be the end of me!
So… yeah, moving along, Alexander, the boy (who Tomo thought was a girl, but it seemed pretty obvious not), works for a Christianity that claims the true cross looks ridiculous, so they abide by that one. But that’s going too far, even for me. I mean, sucking breasts as a 13-year old is nasty, but bringing religion into it is just wrong. I’m surprised I heard nothing about Christians being offended. Good thing Tokyopop was cancelled just in time.
The breast sucking is in every chapter, by the way.It’s almost as if the author was being perverted just to see if he could get away with it. But I refuse to believe that. Right? …Right?
Mafuyu and Tomo are bullied by some of the meanest bullies I’ve ever seen. Apparently they begrudge Tomo for having a missing dean of an uncle, and Mafuyu for being technically Tomo’s maid. Yeah, a maid. The fanservice circle is almost complete, we just need a cat-ears woman. Oh. There is one. It might just be her hair, but it looks and acts like cat ears tend to do. Her name’s Teresa, by the way. She allows Alexander to suckle her nipple. I’m done all over agian. And I don’t even care that I misspelled “again”.
The reason for all the breast-sucking is… get this… the first Christian image is Jesus sucking Mary’s breast. Really? Yeah, I totally recognize that image. Jesus laying on an incorrect cross, using Jesus as an excuse to have milk-drinking… it’s almost as if the religion aspects were stifled by the author, but he’s letting it all out. But that can’t be right, right? …Right?
I’ve never played a video game with such terrible graphics. Oh, sorry, got distracted. Just… taking my mind off of the horrible “twists” the author came up with. Get this, first it turns out that Tomo’s a bad guy. She’s really kind, by the way, so it was a contrived twist. What was more contrived was that it wasn’t her, but their only other friend, a girl with glasses. Okay, NOW the fanservice circle is complete. Turns out glasses is the bad guy, and she was using Tomo as a puppet. But she also seemed nice, so it still comes out of left field. No, it comes from Chesterfield. Yeah, the sofa.
The glasses who no longer wears glasses upon revealing her true form has two… oddities. First, her mouth when it’s open in one scene looks really deformed. Jeez. Two, she threatens Tomo by saying something like “You sh*tty *BEEP*s!” The sh*tty was my own censor, but the *BEEP* was theirs. Why have sh*tty but not the *BEEP*? There isn’t much worse words than that, given it’s one of the 7 words you can’t say on television. Also, she says “I’d love to have *BEEP* her *BEEP*!” while the imagery is her licking Tomo’s breasts. Why not say “lick her breasts”? And anyway, it’s already 18+; you can’t get more adult than adult.
Alexander is boring, Mafuyu is boring, Tomo is sweet, but boring. Practically no one makes this read worth it. Even the cliches are cliched, like how after Alexander and Mafuyu meet, he ends up in her class, and she’s all like, “AH!”. What an overused piece of trite storytelling device. Alexander is the only one who can stand up to Tomo and Mafuyu’s bullies, but then they refuse to accept it, and are all like, “We can handle ’em ourselves!” NO YOU CAN’T. Oh yeah, and at the end of the volume, get this, THEY START LIVING TOGETHER. Man, even the cliche’s cliches are cliched.
Oh wait, at the end of the volume is a new exchange student who has A FREAKING ROBOT MOTHER IN A COFFIN. Yes, her dead mother is a robot that lives in a coffin. Stop the reviewer’s express, I want to get off.
No, wait, at the end of the volume IS THE PROLOGUE. See, “pro” means “before” and “logue” comes from the word “logos” which means “a prologue should be at the BEGINNING of a terrible manga, not the end”.
WAIT WAIT WAIT. What’s really at the end is the author’s comment. Well, maybe he can clear some things up. Maybe the whole breast milk and Christianity was put upon by his editors, or maybe he had a bet to uphold.
“Hello, do you love breasts?! I love them very much!!”
Or maybe he has no soul.
Apparently his last manga was “pent up” as he non-innuendoly puts it, as he wasn’t allowed to use religion, breasts, or excess blood. Rightfully so, there’s too much blood in here. But if you’re pent up, just do what others do and write your own non-published dirty story, not this piece of mess.
Naturally, I threw this manga across the room in a fit of rage. Fortunately, it fell behind the couch. Unfortunately, it returned unscathed.
Why must I torture myself? I was talking to the manga because I needed to reason with it. It seems that out of all the manga in all the world I had to pick up, this one fell into my lap. WHY. Because I was curious? Well… yes. It got some pretty scathing reviews, no wonder why. But to think that this may be the pinnacle of awful just upsets me. Don’t get me wrong, I still have bad manga to review, but I may have hit the snag with this one. But don’t worry. As long as manga exists, I’m sure there will be poor decisions, bad translating, and plenty of exposed breasts to comment on.
And hopefully, I’ll still be doing what I’m doing one year from now. Well, for now, take care. And always wear a bicycle when you’re going to ride a helmet.
Overall Opinion: I think “worst manga I’ve ever read” sums it up, don’t you?
Rating: Awful, terrible, evil, lustful, nasty, gross, disturbing, disgusting, unpleasant, horrible, horrifying, and demonic even with all the religion in it. Out of a billion.