MAR and The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl

Sharkboy and Lavagirl… for years, it’s a manga that has haunted me. Except it’s not a manga. It’s a movie with jailbait Taylor Launter. I must admit, I’m dreamy and I find him male.

One day, I noticed S ‘n’ L had some very similar aspects to a manga called “MAR”. So here’s a duo review of “MAR”, a great if tedious manga, and “Sharkboy and Lavagirl”, a horrible if George Lopez-filled movie.

Plot of Both: Boy is such a loser! It tries to make you see that he’s bad at basically everything, i.e. brains and brawn. He dreams of a magical world, and he thinks it’s real. No one believes him except for his best friend, a girl. One day, something shows up at his school to prove that he was right; the world is real. He goes to said world, makes friends, gets more powerful, and the best friend has a duplicate who is ice princess of that world. Also, he has problems with his parents and there’s far too much George Lopez in both. But in the end, his parents reconcile and George Lopez is a terrible actor.

This is where the two diverge. MAR is action-packed, kinda. It starts off goofy, with talking mustached rocks (my brother almost didn’t buy it because of that), but quickly becomes… ugh… a tournament manga. That’s when I started fading in and out of the series. It’s kind of hard to read when it’s the Tenkaichi Budokai plot. I like Tenkaichi Budokai, but that’s because I know it won’t go on for like, ten volumes. At 15 volumes, it’s hard to read this in one sitting.

At 95 minutes, Sharkboy and Lavagirl is even harder to watch. It’s… well, just watch!

You heard it here first, folks. “The Land of Milk and Cookies”. Four Oscars. One is a grouch.

It lacks subtly, but so does MAR. MAR’s got characters like “Jack” who grows beanstalks. Dorothy the Witch has OZ-based weapons. Not subtle.

I much prefer MAR, so all I’m going to say on that is “Great ending, everything is satisfactory. Only one of the characters is George Lopez (Babbo, and he’s awesome).”

As for Sharkboy and Not-Taylor Launter, I find myself screaming at its foolish attempts at awesomeness. Why is George Lopez four characters? One is too much to bear! And the kid literally PRAYS for a natural disaster to strike, just so he doesn’t have to go to school. You know, I got bullied a lot back in school. Thing is, I had only one friend, but he went to Dallas. So consider yourself lucky to have one friend, kid. S’more than I had.

Also, Tobor. Great. Robot backwards. Did it take you three months to think up that one? Because it would’ve taken me four.

Overall Opinion: I like MAR, even with its tournament spree.

Rating: MAR gets Three Fights out of Five. Sharkboy loses in the first round.


King Of The Lamp

Sorry for my absence, but I’ve been trapped in a horrible manga for a while. I got my buzzard, Mr. Esquire, to deliver the previous entry “A Million Tears”. But now I’ve returned from the abyss that is It That Shall Not Be Named. You’ll find out.

Anyway, how did I get out? Well, I received a magical manga that granted me three wishes. But first I had to review it, so here’s what I wrote up for “King of the Lamp”.

Plot: A genie must grant wishes to young girls, and solve their problems. This is because he took a thousand women for his harem, so now he has to do the aforementioned task for a lucky one thousand. But these wishes come with a price: The cheapest is a kiss from the girl, the middle price is a full day with her, while the full package is, you guessed it, her body. Yep, paying with sex. Fortunately, these girls are modest, so it never comes to that. Will the genie be free to do his Robin Williams impression– I mean, be freed from the lamp?

Well, I don’t know. King of the Lamp only has three stories about the genie, with the other two being bonus stories, one of which is amazing, while the other… we’ll get to that.

Okay, what works? The girls try to solve their romantic problems using the genie, when it would probably be better if they didn’t ask for his help. At least, that’s what I would say, but the manga doesn’t really explore that. The genie really serves as an extra push, but he’s not a cure-all situation. He’s not useless, but if the girls had more noive, then they wouldn’t need him at all. It’s actually kind of interesting in that regard.

The wishes aren’t boring either. One asks for big breasts, but finds out that her man dislikes bustiness and uses her second wish to change back. Another girl wishes to turn into a kid so she can talk to a guy. While the third wishes to have her sister’s voice to talk to the sister’s temporarily blind boyfriend. Kind of amusing.

But I have a question: Why don’t they just wish to get the guy? He never says you can’t wish for that. So what’s the deal?

Also, I think the author likes rape.

Yes, I just said that. I think they like rape.

Each story has the crush try to rape the girl. They never get punished, and it’s never mentioned again. It makes the guys abominable.

Personally, I think it would have been better if we jumped around more in the… three stories we have. It starts in the late 900s, so it’s already towards the end. Oh well.

The first bonus story is about a girl adopted by two male escorts. She falls in love with one of them, but he won’t hear of it.

As it turns out, they’re… inccubi, I think. Male succubi. Long story short, everything turns out neato. The twist is actually pretty nice, and the story is compelling.

Unlike the following story, which is fortunately the shortest. A girl has a guardian spirit (???) that makes guys not want to date her. One doesn’t care, she says no, but they still get together. I don’t even know why there’s a spirit guardian (?????), since it does nothing that no spirit guardian (??????????) could’ve done. The author admits that it’s terrible, so there’s that.

All in all, it’s a fairly decent manga. Not amazing, but livable.

So what did I wish for? First, to be free. The second and third wishes I’m saving.


Rating: One and a Half Wishes out of Three. Seriously, why so much sex? And rape? And… and… UGH.