World War Blue

I wanted to like this. I really did. I had high hopes for World War Blue. What, a manga about the console wars? Mario versus Sonic in an all-out waging raging war? What’s not to love?

Plot: Gear is the spunky spiky-blue-haired rebel who wants to rise up against the Nintendo Empire and give hope to the people of Sega. Yes, I know that it’s “Ninteldo” and “Segua”, but if I constantly write those, I’ll forget how to spell them normally. After Gear’s friend Tial dies, he joins the Sega army to get revenge.

Now, okay. That has some potential. Personally I’d prefer the view of Nintendo, but give Sega a time to shine. There’s a problem with that, though. I don’t recognize anyone outside of “Gear”, being Sonic, and “Tial”, being Tails. Maybe it’s become I’m a product of Nintendo, but that just rubs me the wrong way.

In fact, speaking of Nintendo, guess how many times any Nintendo characters appear? One scene in the first volume? That’s about right. It’s Mario (Marcus) and Luigi (although he’s not in view) with Yoshi (a generic dinosaur). That’s my complaint with the setup. Well, the only one on a personal level.

Okay, there’s more. When I was younger, I went to see Cats Vs. Dogs. I’m more of a cat-lover, but I have on occasion favored dogs. This was not that time. I hadn’t had a dog yet, so seeing the cats as evil ticked me off. Everyone was just laughing and laughing. Popcorn was pouring out of their mouths. Someone vomited an entire BMW. Me? I just sat and pouted.

What I’m saying is that from my perspective, Sega isn’t THE HEROIC UNDERDOG THAT RISES AGAINST A TYRANNICAL EMPIRE. Remember, who saved the market after the gaming crash? Who made gamers love gaming all over again, even today? Who has countless of recognizable characters, enough to say, “Hey, Sonic! You too Snake! Aw, Megaman, come here! You guys are like family! Why not join us?”

NINTENDO. Sega just seems like some young upstarts looking to make trouble. “Genesis does what Nintendon’t!” HA HA HA. HEAR THAT? THEY’RE LAUGHING NOW! NOT YOU, SEGA!

This reminds me, why doesn’t this start from earlier on? Why start at the end of Sega’s console life? First, it’s confusing to have Sonic just join the army. His name is Gear. Did Game Gear just join, or did Sonic? If it’s Sonic, why isn’t he the Emperor of Sega? Who IS the Emperor of Sega? And I don’t recall Tails being dead.

Heck, I think this should have been right after the gaming crash is over. Nintendo tries to rebuild the world, but Sega just goes in foolhardy, picking a fight and failing in the end. I dunno, maybe that’s just my opinion.

What’s NOT just opinion-based is the deplorable artwork. It’s not just bad. Granted, it’s not particularly polished. My first notice of the art being bad was about Chapter Two. There was ZERO EFFORT put into the faces of the Sega army. Seriously, they look like doodles. I could draw better, and I’m not even good enough to have a webcomic. The internet promised to shut down if I did so.

The Sega army isn’t the main issue, however. Funny thing… no, wait. Let me tell you my drinking game for reading World War Blue.

Every time a panel is copy and pasted, take a sip.
Every time a panel is copy, pasted, and zoomed in, take two sips.
Every time a panel is copy, pasted, and blurred, take three sips.
Every time a page has next to no art, finish your drink.
And every time a Nintendo character appears, finish the bottle.

The last one is my own personal complaint, but the first four show the art issues. Yes, the artist, “Crimson” (Nice, really. No, I like when the artist has no name easily searchable online. Good.) has taken to duplicating panels. It’s a serious problem, and it just makes the art come off as weak. Oh, you zoomed in? And now you’re adding a blur effect? WOWEE! And you get paid for putting no effort into your artwork? Mommy, can I have more please?

No, really. I’m embarrassed. The artist got paid for doing this. Oh, and sometimes for doing nothing at all. Yes, some pages are minimalist artwork, or no artwork at all, just 90% white with speech bubbles.

And that just kills it for me. I daresay that Qwaser of Stigmata had better art than this. Because, frankly, AT LEAST THE ARTIST DIDN’T JUST COPY AND PASTE EVERYTHING!

How’s the story? Generic. I had read Attack On Titan hours earlier, and that was like this, but WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY better. Loved one dies, an actual threat, some actual fights, drama, suspense, shocks, cliffhangers… it makes you want to read it.

Oh, right. They don’t attack Nintendo in this volume. Gear jumps on some of the army, but most of the volume is dedicated to training, thanks to the Tetris Man. Yes, a character is based on Tetris. Really grasping for straws there, gang.

So as you can see, it sucks. I hate it. This is probably one of the worst manga I’ve read published in the states this year. But hey, there’s supposed to be a manga about a centaur living a normal high school life. Maybe that’ll suck more.

Oh, and I bet the series ends like this:

Despite their best efforts, Segua’s empire fell on their face, defeated. Gear went on to make many mistakes later on in his life, such as bestiality and hanging out with the wrong crowd. Under the guidance of Emperor Marcus, Gear slowly made changes to his outlook, and they even buried the hatchet at the Olympics. True, now Ninteldo faces threats from Mikross and Zontion, but with Emperor Marcus and Gear working together, the console wars may be silenced forever.

Now, let us say a prayer.

Jiiiiiigaly puff… jigaleeee-eee puff… jig-a-lee puff, ji-ga-leeeee…

Amen.

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