Yu-Gi-Oh! is best known as an anime about card games. However, the manga started out as various games, like the game where you stab money over your hand, or reaching into a shoe for coins while a scorpion lies inside, waiting. Mostly games of daring.
But there’s some games that… suck. So here’s my five least favorite picks for the worst games in the first seven Yu-Gi-Oh! manga.
I’m gonna go with the original Japanese names, Yugi = Yugi, Tea = Anzu, Tristan = Honda, but I’m keeping Joey as Joey. I like Joey’s Western name.
5) Monster Fighter
So it’s Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots? I can dig it, but that’s all there is. It’s more elaborate, fine, with the data chips and robot skills, but it’s Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots in the end. You can put lipstick on a robot, and it’ll still rock and sock. Somehow the rocking and socking attracts thieves. Look, I know it’d be cool in the real world to have this thing, but consider this: You have no space. Like, how can you gather crowds if five other people can watch? Tournaments? What a joke. And it really seems to boil down to button-mashing. What’s the point of strategy if you’re just doing any random thing?
And that’s the biggest problem: One of the big draws is how cunning Yami-Yugi is, how his strategy and cool demeanor helps him win. Here, the Spider could have one. There’s no cunning in that defeat; the opponent lost his cool. And don’t tell me using his cool to annoy the Spider was his strategy; when Yami Yugi played dice against a TV director, he used BOTH his cool attitude and his wits, turning the angry director’s win into a loss by holding up the puzzle when he threw the die, turning the six into a seven. But here? Nah, cracks in face.
4) Love Letter Puzzle
The only female character to face Yami Yugi in a Shadow Game, yet she never faced him. Face. Okay.
That stupid Ribon or Ribbon or Ribbbon was made a main character in Yu-Gi-Oh! Zero, but only to be Honda’s love interest. That’s like being Andy Dick’s understudy. She was way worse there than here. There, she fell for all the wrong guys, Kaiba included. Here, she told Honda flat-out that she didn’t like him. Case closed!
The issue is the way he asked her out. He put a puzzle, written by Yugi, under her desk. The creepy teacher did inspections, found the puzzle, and planned to expel whoever wrote it (Honda, since that’s how it’s signed). Forgetting how bad Honda is for not writing his own love letter, the teacher wanted to find condoms or cigarettes to expel kids and blow off steam. This? I know dating is forbidden at Domino High School, but so are part-time jobs. And it’s not like you can present the puzzle as evidence of dating. It’s a love letter, not a positive pregnancy test.
Yami Yugi puts her in a Shadow Game, and when she finishes, the real face under her makeup shows her true nature. Creepy and gross, she runs off, with Yami Yugi mentioning she’ll never be able to cover up her face.
You know, he’s faced murderers and the like before, but he never punishes them like he does normal jerks. The TV director only sees mosaic, some kid who steal Yugi’s puzzle has his soul put in a jar, but the serial killer, the thugs, the escaped convict, it’s always fire. No, look it up. They can recover from that.
Plus, who confesses in a puzzle? Not anyone who wants the answer to be “yes,” it seems.
3) Capsule Monsters
There was an anime of this, but not a game. I wonder why? Well, it’s a cool concept. Heck, it was the initial name for Pokemon. There’s five monsters per player, ranging from 1 to 5 levels. They have their own abilities. And there’s a number of different boards.
OH, THAT’S THAT! Who wants to lug around a giant board to play with friends? Cards in the pocket, easy. Not to mention the level difference. Why would anyone want to play with the Level 1 monsters? Sure, Torigun has that diagonal move, but it’s way better to have giant monsters. Seems like a lazy concept.
Plus, the first fight lacks an “evolution square.” Probably necessary for playing with Level 1’s, yeah?
He said, placing his monsters in one spot as well. This game needs a set starting point. Otherwise, you’d just set it up based on your foe’s layout.
2) Virtual Pets
When virtual pets come to Domino, the gang compares their pets. Yugi’s is literally a head with limbs and Yugi hair. Hmm. Joey’s is a weird, sullen, uncute thug, but after kicking Yugi’s pet, they’re friends. Seriously, we get it, they’re their owners’ pets. Anzu has a cute peach, and Honda has nothing. Yeah, seems right.
But one classmate has a special pet. See, this virtual pet system has millions of different pets based on how they’re raised, but a mysterious pet emerges when you’ve done everything in a specific manner. They have black star on them, and–
He’s not really humanoid; all pets are non-digital in the perspective of the game. So how does a pet speak perfect human speech, and why isn’t it for all pets? WHO KNOWS? IT’S A GLITCH OR A VIRUS! PRETTY FREAKING NUANCED FOR A GLITCH!
The pet eats others when they combine keychains, but Yugi’s evolves… and it’s a Yami Yugi clone. Sigh. It kills this pet, only to die the next day. And that’s why Tamagotchi is bankrupt.
1) Death T’s Haunted Mansion Guillotine
Kaiba should be in jail. He never goes, but he shouldn’t be allowed to do things like make parks.
Construction Worker: “Hey, this says you want a giant room for falling blocks that crush people.”
Kaiba: “And why isn’t it done?”
CW: “It’s highly illegal!”
K: “No, it’s a game! Like Tetris!”
CW: “Oh, I love Tetris!”
K: “Fantastic. Now, here’s the plans for the serial killer’s room.”
But I despise him for the guillotine. Oh, sure it’s only a guillotine that chops of hands. Nowhere near as evil as hiring three assassins to kill Yugi and company.
But think about it: Kaiba invited Yugi and had him bring Joey and Honda. The guillotine can be stopped by pressing the right button. There are four holes. The intention was for Yugi, Joey, and Honda to put their hands in the holes.
Now, how many people started Death T? Three. How many holes? Four. How many people are there at this point? Four. Who pressed the correct button?
Gotta hand it to Anzu. If she wasn’t there… and that might have been Kaiba’s intention! And why put the clue there? The other games are rigged against them, so why does Kaiba play fair here? Unless… if Anzu wasn’t there, it could have been to rub his nose in it. And that’s against the rules.