5 Characters In Manga That Would Be Horrifying If They Existed In Real Life

Man, manga characters sure are cute or cool, huh? But it’s Halloween, so here’s Read The Title, Please.

Jelly Jiggler from Bobobo-Bo-Bo-Bobo

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Dude might be weak in Bobobs, but in real life, people would be scared of him for being made out of jelly. Plus, the constant instability.

Ogawa Ikue from High School Girls

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Sure, she’s cute in High School Girls, or, as it’s known in Japan, Girls Can Grow Up and Write Perverted Manga Too?!?, but don’t you think she’d look scary in real life? Dem eyes are huge. I guess most of the girls in manga do. Let Ogawa represent, son.

Happie from Stargazing Dog

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Okay, Happie the Near-Death Doggie would be cute in real life. But man, could you be near him knowing that he’d be narrating everything you do? I suppose that’s not too horrifying, but trust me–it could be.

Mami Honda from Gals!

mamiLike Ogawa, she has big eyes. But also Ogawa, she’s in black and white. Now that’d be a fright for sore eyes. Oh, and I guess every other character is too.

Shiro Yamaoka from Oishinbo

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Left: Yamaoka in the beginning of Oishinbo. Right: Yamaoka most of the series. Clearly, this foodie is a wizard. Keep him away from me.

Tokyo Ghoul

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Single man meeting nice normal ghoul.

Whatcha think? Good pun? Tokyo Ghoul is a horror manga that ran from Volume 1 until Volume 14. It has a lot of trite and basic monster-filled world elements.

Basically, Earth acknowledges the presence of ghouls, monsters that eat people. Ken goes on one wrong date with a real knockout ghoul and wakes up a half-ghoul. Ken now views himself unfit for the human life or the ghoul grind. Will Ken survive? I did say it’s 14 volumes.

My largest issue is the basic BS. Ghouls are whiny babies with the powers of gods.

“What does cake really taste like?” is one thing said because ghouls hate the taste of everything but flesh and coffee. Okay, food sucks, but you only need to eat once every month.

The “who’s the real monster” is in the air. I’m guessing the ghouls. Oh yeah, it is Columbus Day today. Fitting. But Parasyte this ain’t. What this is is vampire knockoffs. Super skin strength? Vampy. Unquenchable thirst for human parts? Vampy and Zombo. Brooding? All monsters throughout time. Not a fan of the basic bawling or brawling.

Art’s fine, if generic by modern standards.

I do like how Ken tries to find food he can eat, specifically through comparing himself to Metamorphosis’s Gregor Samsa. I’m a fan. Nice touch. Plus, at one point he curls up and looks like he wishes to die, only to realize there’s 13 more volumes and modern society is no longer satisfied with a work unless the creator has stated that he or she has agreed to tun it into a full-fledged franchise. Samsa curls up and dies in the end! It’s uncanny how similar these two are!

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There’s the sense that he’s not actually finding food just because he doesn’t want to eat human flesh, but more to the point that he’s searching for some humanity to cling onto, even if “humanity” is nothing more than coffee grinds.

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I like Ken enough that his angst never bothers me. Y’know, it’s justified. His friend who always has a hunch if something’s wrong to the point of trying to prevent Ken from seeing someone that Ken knows is a ghoul is kind of cool. How’s that for a run-on sentence? And the owner of the restaurant that serves as a hunting grounds for ghouls to dine is a swellow. Swell Fellow. He owns a freezer full of human flesh. I’ll have what she’ having, am I right? And then the professor who discusses the ghouls with a breadth of knowledge and with no kindness to his cohosts. He’s aight by me, dawgs.

I wish the manga focused more on characters than dumb boy fighting. But whatever. A good cast goes a long way. And a bad cast makes the movie Pixels.

Easy shot, come to think of it. May I try again? Buy the manga, guys.

“A good cast goes a long way. And a bad cast makes the complete works of Ed Wood.”

Yeah, much more proud of that one.

Noragami: Stray God

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October! Manga review! Constant schedule slip! Yes, I don’t have a schedule. That’s how late I’ve been. Review!

Yato’s a homeless god working for cheap. He even wrote his number in a high school bathroom stall! The first third of the first volume focuses on Yato and his Shinki (spirits that become weapons) helping a bullied girl, while the remainder has the Shiki leave him and Yato meeting Hiyori, a girl who is able to see Ayakashi, basically a demon. Now they fight together! Also, he gets a new Shinki at the end of volume one. Trio of Power!!!!!!!!!!

Trio of Power!!!!!!!!!! notwithstanding, I kind of enjoyed the first chapter more than anything else. Spoiler paragraph to follow.

A bullied girl, driven close to the point of suicide, calls the number. Yato reveals an Ayakashi is turning everyone’s mood sour, which is hurting the girl. Upon her request, he vanquishes the beast, but everyone still bullies her. Makes sense, considering that bad things travel faster than good. So Yato takes her status as “bully victim” and changes it to “stranger,” essentially meaning she’s not noteworthy to her class, not that they forgot her. The girl, now with a second chance, stops talking in the third person and feeling sorry for herself. Yes, the third person.

Yato tells her that she’s the cause of their ill mood, which may sound cruel, but it has wisdom in it. As Tomska has said…

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Teenagers r dumbbbb. One side of this is trying to jump that shark, while the other is trying too hard, repelling people instead of attracting them. You learn and, while society has taught us how evil the thought is, you change for others and yourself. It’s honestly a positive thing.

This chapter resonated with me on a number of levels, all of which are too personal to share with a handsome stranger such as you, Melissa. Or any other name. The drama felt real, monster as well, but I wish the tone remained beyond this chapter.

The rest is Yato with his new partner, Hiyori, who hit by a truck and now falls out of her body and has a tail when she falls from the flesh. They fight monsters and find dogs or cats or something. You’ve read such things before, like that kid who smiles too wide and acts like Sheldon Cooper. Muhyo & Roji. If you like the genre, and I do, pick up Noragami. But with the god angle and the girl who falls out of her shell, there’s more teased in this volume than attracts readers on its own.

Funny, check, decent art, but monster designs are disappointing. Not much of a horror manga, since it’s not. If you came here on that pretense, I fulled ya. You may go. But the suicidal girl in the first chapter does spark some realistic horror in those who know what it’s like to be bullied. For that chapter’s merits alone, I recommend “Noragami: Stray Gawd, Mom, I’m Old Enough To Date Keith! He’s Only 27!”